I do not feel I have any other options than to submit to my doctor in wanting to give me Cymbalta.
I do not trust it. I am weary of any med that has had way too many commercials pushing it. If it was good and worked, doctors would see the evidence and prescribe it without needing to have people convinced to ask for it through commercials!
Still. I have no doubt I kill myself soon on this present course, friendless and in pain, constantly alone.
I fear it will fuck up my unwinding. This has always been my fear. I’ll ignore some physical pains, lose the sensations that help guide the needed unfolding. I’ll have to be mindful for other cues.
I also do not know yet what meds my doctor may make me quit to prevent issues, … or maybe I’ll just be permanently pickled.
This is me giving up on ever getting better. I will never regain my balance. I will never unfold my love.
I truly believe fear has stayed my hand at suicide.
I believe first breakdown while on Cymbalta likely results in killing myself.
At least it will be over.
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