I think I am dying.
More specifically, entering the last phase of the life cycle. I don’t know how long this will last, but everything requires more than I am capable.
I have not left the house yet this year, I think. Walking has become near impossible. I don’t think I can even get on my bike.
My memory is failing in all new ways, more like my brain is cognitively impaired.
At a minimum, I am very sick. I am overheated after 3 minutes in 99 degree spa water when I usually do PT for over an hour in it, closer to 2 hours.
I have zero interest in going to the hospital. The effort required just to get there is more suffering than I am willing to experience.
Still have thoughts and hypothesis, but can rarely hold them, let alone write them.
The level of fatigue is such that I cannot even regret my life or situation much before forgetting why I am crying, lol. I hypothesize that is how we end up “accepting” death. We’d be panicked but we’re just too damn tired to complain.
I made it through the winter. It is starting to warm up. I don’t think I will get to enjoy it, unable to function.
A sad story, me.
