Okay. Just home from a too short Covid appointment schedule 45 minute swim, BUT I may have had a breakthrough. Yeah, again, but c’mon.
All this time, I knew the kink I was “unfolding” or “unwinding” was complicated, a collection of helixes wrapped around my skeleton with kinks. Maybe only one main deep one, but had developed more while growing up dealing with it.
I have been, constantly, identifying spots and trying to correct them, sometimes holding several in my mind at the same time, though often failing. Sometimes, progress would be made. Okay, almost always, some degree of progress was made, but I also have always known the right set of “points of focus,” likely a ridiculous number of them, properly “adjusted,” would just set everything in the right place.
There would still be a substantial amount of muscle memory to rid and create at that point, but the kinks would potentially no longer be the focus. If lucky, they would not exist, at least not the same.
The real problem, then, was not to hold a ridiculous number of “points of focus” in my head and move them all in different directions at the exact proper moments, but to discover a new way of thinking, a new way to be, that would make “being” do the unfolding/unwinding.
I may be onto that.
I doubt it will make too much sense, or maybe it will. I know the same terms I have used before, so it may be ripe for miscommunication.
I must no longer think of points, rather acceleration. There are really only 2 ways I move, maybe how everyone moves, through torque or acceleration. F=ma. T=rFsine(insert Theta symbol).
Instead of finding points to try to move around or whatever, I must relax into movement which is acceleration based, along a helix still, but with greater acceleration and alteration along that helix to correct areas where torque occurs.
All of my pain may be based on torque.
sigh
Too frazzled to continue, but at least I got this written down. It has been a long time since I have realized something, some aspect of this rabbit hole, potentially making things clearer, and easier to continue. I’m happy. Well, almost, lol.
