Thursday, March 26, 2015

First Swim, Again

This was the most painful first day swimming I have ever experienced.

My left arm was plain wrong.

Whatever new position it sits in, it needs to move in the water in ways I am not familiar with.  I mean, I pulled, I sent the signal to the arm to pull, and the muscles fired as they always have, but the muscles being in new positions made the arm move differently.  I had no power, and there was very sharp pain.

I managed 650m total, pretty poor.

The ride home was torture.  The physical equalization a going on lead to a very odd sensation/happening in my left side.  Perhaps it buckled.  I don't know for sure, but I think parts above my hip went up aroung my stomach, then under my ribs.

It was not an enjoyable experience, but at least I did not lose control of the bike during it.

Last, but sadly, most, I have gained much weight this winter.  I'm up to 226.  Ouch.

I've been heavier.  It is just disappointing after managing to not gain much weight before the new year.  Things just got very difficult, and I ate lots of sweets to avoid complete misery.

It is finally warming up, however, and the fight begins again.  I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

Friday, March 13, 2015

New High, New Low

Fuck.

The changes and adjustments continued yesterday, after that > felt it straightened and things started shifting.

This morning, it dawned on me to measure myself.  I didn't feel taller, but I was curious.

Sure enough.  I was just slightly taller than ever, and a good 1/4 inch taller than I had been in the few times I have measured myself over the past few years, just over 5'11".

Enter panic.

*     *     *     *     *

As one can see, I used to document changes when they happened.  I was reasonably diligent.  If I could physically get to the keyboard or the physical journal, I was documenting changes as best I could.

I knew they were subjective, for the most part, when not describing visible outwardly changes, but I still felt that perhaps some day in the future the sensations would make sense to others objectively, at least as possibilities.

I was motivate.

*     *     *     *     *

Over time, I lost my motivation.

I don't care about proving myself right, or even just finding which aspects of my theories are right.  I want to stop hurting.

I am tired.

*     *     *     *     *

So, with a new increase in height, albeit slight, my first thought was a bad one.  Not again.

I can't go through the agony that followed previous height increases again.  I won't.

*     *     *     *     *

A hope remains, I suppose.  The increased pain (presumably from tensions and tweaks) which have plagued me the past few months, which I presumed to be due to Winter cold and a lack of swimming, could have been a precursor to the change in height, more than those previous times had post adjustment pains which were subjectively so much greater than the status quo.

I can only hope.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

A New Unfold

Simply for the record, as I have not been updating often.

Imagine an arrow key symbol, a sideways V, like this, >.

Now place it at the back base of your neck and rotate it such that the point faces forward, towards your Adam's Apple.

I suspect it was made of muscle, whatever it was, but this morning, it straightened out from a V into a line.  This is how it felt, anyways.

And the back of my neck elongated slightly.

Now, pieces are shifting around, parts at the base of the neck, up to the jaw hinges, and large sections of the right shoulder seem to have slid from behind and underneath the arm around and up towards the spot at the base of the back of my neck.

My bite has changed (though it has been very unstable for ages).

When it happened, a migraine head ache that was torturing me as I tried to fall back to sleep went away in an instant.  Well, not entirely, some discomfort seems to have shifted from the sinuses to the side of the temple, but the pain level dropped substantially.

Where things go from here, I have no idea.  I am hopeful, but tired.