Friday, February 22, 2013


Spa working again, and the adjustments are full blown madness.

It's two weeks worth of change (enough to sustain insanity in it's own time period) stuffed into a day and a half.

The sole reason for this entry - something, maybe muscle, tendon, whatever, moved over several of my lower right rib cage.

It hurt.

It felt like a hard rubber cord, unbelievably tight, slid (was ripped downward) from a point several ribs above the bottom of the cage to a point free of the rib cage, now in the soft tissue.  Over each rib was a very sharp pain, one after the other, yet it happened in a split second.

All I was doing was following the muscles, from base in legs, to core, to back, to attempt to raise my arms with my shoulders (instead of raising my arms where the point of focus is in my hands).

I'm a little shaken by the experience, so I wanted documentation, of sorts, by this.

It never gets old.  Rather, I never am prepared for the next new sensation.

I've presumed great pain would be involved at some point, if in fact an injury was the primary source of all this shit in the first place.

I really want this to end.

I'm losing it.

Those moments when I can catch my breath, those few moments when I can actually think, instead of my thoughts being driven by stimuli, those moments are my most desperate.

This is a hell. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I Hate Winter

Still alive.  Still making progress.  Still suffering.

The spa broke over a week ago.  That was bad.

This week has been more difficult than I feared, far more difficult.

*     *     *     *     *

And yet, the progress is significant.

I can almost articulate it, but not quite.  I can contort in such a way as to momentarily use a muscle in my right shoulder.  It requires intense focus on multiple body parts.  Such fun.

I'm hopeful that I will be able to perform the traditional shoulder rehab exercises in the not-too-distant future.  Well, . . . , I'm hopeful I can do them with minimal contorting necessary to use (and thereby strengthen) the correct muscles.

*     *     *     *     *

Otherwise, it is pain and wasting time playing Skyrim, interspersed with moments of parenting and the occasional trip outside the house.

I need an end to this cold weather.