I got a lot of feedback on Reddit and I am freaking out a little. Brain zaps? Harsh withdrawal? Just what is this stuff?
There are positive reviews, too, and I get that I pretty much have to try, but fuck I hate feeling coerced into this. Doctors always fucking hurt me, as seen by the last week thanks to that Shingles Vaccine. I just have a feeling of dread that I am going to be hurt more.
I am really tired of everything always getting worse and worse, and a common theme from doctors is he doesn’t have a clue what is wrong with me (doesn’t listen) and throws spaghetti at the wall with the things he’s been promoted to use. I tend to pay.
I’m sacred. I can’t say I want to do this.
Many have had help from it for “nerve pain,” whatever the fuck that means. I’d feel more confident if I had that diagnosis. I’d feel better if anyone fucking understood what wrong with me before trying to shoehorn me with other treatments.
I’m not going to have any support when this goes badly.
Fuck. Here comes another breakdown morning before my day even gets started. I can’t keep doing this.
Time to sit in the hot tub for a few hours, stifling tears and moans, because I’ll be right under all my neighbor’s open windows with this heat wave going. Two hours to kill before the pool opens.
I guess this is my life now.
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