Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Comment Section Blues

[Sigh.  Banned from the one site I still enjoyed, at least mostly.  Feeling down.  Once I post this, I'll erase the site from my favorites to make sure I don't get tempted to try going back.  I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, so I won't change to remain.  This post has little to do with my condition or the continued changes I am having, and there have been more developments in the shoulder and neck, but the same stories of improvement and pain apply, so it's not worth trying to describe the subtly differences I probably can't articulate.  One of the ways I passed time is crossed off the list.  Disappointing.]

I did not have many friends coming out of Law School.  I made several work friends, and had some friends I attended Cal Basketball and Football games with, but when we moved to Sacramento, I became friendless.  At most, I had acquaintances in a few of the people my wife worked with.  I spent most of my time at the dog park, walking the dogs by the American River, or playing video games.  It was during this time that I had focused on myself, changed my walk, and the crap storm of "unwinding" and pain began.

Several years into the pain, I started getting involved on comment message boards.  My first was Extra Baggs, an SF Giants blog.  I later branched out to other San Jose Mercury News blogs, then sfgate, and much later TOTH (The Tower of the Hand, a fan sit of the Song of Ice and Fire books).  It was the only interaction I had outside of my wife and dogs, really.  Over time, I found I liked TOTH and the Merc sites the most, places where I made "Internet friends" or sorts (and some enemies).  As noted earlier, pain made me cut that down to one, then briefly none.

I started going back to Giants Extra, formerly Extra Baggs, and found myself banned this morning.  I don't know why.  Perhaps from an error I made the other day that left an entire blog entry in italics, but that was several entries before this banning.  Last night, the board had devolved and the IT people got involved, so maybe that did it.  I don't believe it was comment oriented banning, but who knows.  I'd enjoy accusing the site of blocking me because I called out Larry Baer so often, but that would be stretching my joke of a mole I was playing a bit thin, and not worth the effort of establishing a new account.

A am apparently the equivalent of the trolls that get banned.  That is more disappointing then losing pseudo-friends.

I'm genuinely upset.  It had become something I could do, both in the morning before rehab exercises, then afterwards while recovering from them. 

Perhaps it was meant to be, in that my wife and I finally found a puppy prospect of interest.  While Maya is still with us, the old girl, it was Matilda that was my dog, whom I miss more than anything, and had really started posting more on the Internet upon her death out of loneliness.  I'm a bit terrified to get a new dog, not being sure I can physically handle the training and care aspects, and that I can't take it out anywhere near what I did the two dogs before I became an invalid.  I used to go hiking or to the dog park with them for hours, even when first ill, until Maya's dominant female crap became too much for me to handle.

Maybe the banning will get me to push all in on this new dog.  There are two females I am interested in, Bull Mastiffs with a 1/8 sprinkling of Rhodesian Ridgeback mixed in.  It's a lot of dog, but the mellow aspect appeals to me.  It should be somewhat similar to Matilda, just 30 pound heavier.  A new dog would be infinitely better than an Internet comment section, right?  How I am going to puppy proof when I picking things up and moving them is about the hardest task I can be asked to do, however, I have no idea.  What I want is my Matilda back.  Can't always get what you want.

Trying to look at the bright side.  It's warm out.  My arm is almost better, though from the headaches of late, I'm pretty certain the concussion was the bigger injury, and one which I ignored.  We may get a spa soon.  That would be great, too, and probably help my rehab.

But I can't help but be sad.  I liked Giants Extra, even some of the enemies that had wit.  A new dog won't be Matilda.  Trying to clean up and train is going to hurt like all holy hell.  Salt for the wound, I could EASILY have just switched over to the new Diablo III video game, I had spent years playing Diablo II, and had eagerly awaited the new version, but my computer can't run it.  It's not an expenditure I can justify as the non-money earner.

Time will tell how things work out.  Should any of the Giants Extra crowd happen upon this, be well.  I know I was not always easy to deal with, but my goal was to be of more benefit then detriment in the aggregate (a positive WAR, if you will), and I think, well, thought I did that.  I had my moments.  I really liked my fake commercial and did have some ideas for others I never got around to, but the banning speaks volumes.  Perhaps my pessimism objectively made me a troll, and I could not see it with my own eyes.

While I hope the tide will turn, the same hope I've carried for 7+ years, my crappy existence gets a little crappier . . .

In Vonnegut fashion, so it goes . . .


  1. Hi, Wisdom Cow, it's Lefty from Giants Extra. No idea why you were banned. Doubt it's the italics. I wonder if it's a mistake. I noticed they removed a lot of posts from last night (all the nasty ones), and maybe yours was in the middle and got accidentally swept into the ban?

    Is there anything I/we can do?

    Anyway, be well and take care. And go Giants!

    1. I thought that may be the case, too, but recall, I don't care too much for coincidence. Too much happens in my ridiculous life that I ignored along the way. I'm trying to go with the flow more, I suppose (how's that for being contrary to my Giants Extra posts, lol). Thanks for stopping by. The odds are I'll be back eventually, though I don't know to what degree. Of course, the more intelligent posters pretty much know what I'd write anyways - R'hllor, fire Bochy, think long term, all mixed in a variety of forms but repeating the same thing.

      Spent my swim trying to motivate myself towards the new dog idea. The targetted pups are only 2 weeks old, so I'd have over a month to begin the puppy proofing it we end up making a deposit. You can always stop by here and drop a line, plus I may end up writing some Giant thoughts here, though I never really wanted too. All the other sites I know of just don't do it for me, either the format bugs me or their are too many postings for me to not feel overwhelmed (still a pidgeon brain in that regard, I'm afraid).

      Be well, you Trojan. If anything, you can expect some friendly trash talk on JW's college board come football season.

  2. Okay, too funny, IMO, to ignore, but I'm not about to sign up a new account. If someone happens back, perhaps they'll take it up with ClutchUp.

    While I do not actually believe it, meaning I wouldn't bet on, I do think it is possible ClutchUp, the guy I had been accusing jokingly of working for the Giants as Larry Baer's mole, had me banned.

    Why? Well, After going back to see if anything had changed (like the initial morning comment I worked on in answer to BBQ's early question had now been posted, as if maybe under moderation when I initially believed myself banned), I couldn't help but see ClutchUp had written a post @ 1:05 where he noted two things which actually confirmed two issues the two of us had yesterday. He wrote of people using different names and/or IP addresses after being banned, which I had gotten some ire from him yesterday after noting HE was the one who often accused people of being "the same guy with a new name."

    In the same paragraph he brought up Pat Riley's argument that "never" and "always" should not be used, yet, "agreed to disagree" with me yesterday concerning player development when a young player reaches the majors, his position being that it NEVER happens and was not the managers job.

    Perhaps, he did have me banned because I was the only one calling all his BS. Someone give him crap. He deserves it, at least, for the hypocrisy.

  3. Dude, it's PACMAN 68. You need to come back to the site. Call yourself Ghost of Wisdom Cow or whatever. The loonies and moles are taking over.

  4. It's shellfish! Did u get the damn dog?? I hope so. I don't know who is connected and I do not care, I just really enjoy the post which cause me to ponder, stretch the noodle and most of all, laugh. That said, I enjoyed you, almost more when you were cranky and sarcastic, you helped us laugh at ourselves and how seriously we take it all.

    What do any of us really know about running a team?

    1. The dog quest fell through. Sadly, it was probably for the best. I'm struggling with the minimal time I'm alone with my 5 year old. Puppy proofing and training (and I stubbornly insist on getting a puppy) is more than I can currently handle.

      I'm sure I'll be back at some point. I'd be surprised if I don't get sucked back into the BANG blog realm once Cal football gets rolling.

      If amusement is what you need, try reading CU's posts, projecting a slobbery voice with a heavy lisp upon them, knowing he types madly at his keyboard wearing a pink night gown, eating a bowl of Quaker oats, and smiling in victory to himself every time he successfully cuts and pastes someone elses prose.

  5. ClutchUp here. TWC I had zero to do with you not being on the site. The first time you posted with out an avatar using another email you actually had to call it to MY attention (no avatar) The Pat Riley reference = you lost me. It came from a book he once wrote that I liked and the quote was something I used coaching younger kids who often would say: "I'll Never be able to _______" or "I'll always love my 15 yr old new girl friend..."

    Either way TWC, I miss our exchanges and I miss reading your valued posts. It may not mean anything coming from me, but I think that Giants Extra is much worse without The Wisdom Cow.

  6. Wisdom Cow-

    It's Keep'n It Real. I don't think it was fact he sent me an email being bummed that you think it was him. In fact, I know ClutchUp was banned a couple times...because I sent Alex an email explaining that he was on the "good guys" team (like you).

    The blog is getting weird. I think some of the negative forces (Sargento, etc.) are using their extra time to research ways to get around the Merc's IP address banning and take some of us out too. I've written to the highest powers to get things cleaned up, but it seems they don't acre my visits have been far less than before.

    Lastly, I also know ClutchUp has stuck up for you when others have badmouthed you while you were I just can see him exerting energy to get you banned.

    YOur a big boy and can obviously make up your own mind, but I thought I would try and add another point of view.

    Be well and it was sure nice seeing the Giants come back last night.

    Best regards,

  7. I have spent some time reading Giant Extra's comments for the past few days and the place has gotten weird (as KIR notes).

    If I walked up to a bar and ordered a drink, hearing that conversation as I waited for my double of Red Label, I'd have found a booth rather than joined in after the shot came. I lack the motivation to try to steer a discussion, and I simply don't have the passion right now to nit pick an organization nearing SuperPAC spin status (and just think, the Baer machine is just getting started!), although I am close, to puking, over the BS spin being put on Belt's "arrival" as if the past year+ had not been wasted.

    IMO, the board is not "discussing" anything. It's like everyone is writing their opinion. Some agree, some don't, but no one dives deeper into anything presented. There is no "group think," the reason I like talking baseball - learn, delve, come up with new ideas.

    And I had not been doing much of it, either. The only real fun I had was writing a commercial about how I won a game. It's not like my absence made things change. I was part of the change while it happened.

    Basically, let me sit and drink my Red Label in a booth for a while. I'll eavesdrop on occasion, and you can bet I'll start ranting again once I get three sheets to the wind.