It is like the moment when your stomach lurches and reverses field, when the muscles create a wave of motion in reverse and you vomit.
That is the change I seek in muscles, too many to identify. In this sense, I am physically nauseous, all the time, often in pain.
I don’t know what is happening, if I am near a success, or if I am near a bad end.
I am so tired. It has been so long, this unfolding.
I face this alone, and my only hope is that the habits I spent years to establish, how I seek folds and reverse them, will be enough.
I have nothing left. I have no will anymore. I have nothing.
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