I'm getting closer.
Interspersed between periods of extreme discomfort, I am having moments, just a few, of almost-wholeness.
I am not whole, not yet, not even all that close to completely whole, which, in truth, I doubt will ever happen.
Yet, in these moments, where the creases are pushed to the top, above my chest, above my shoulders, stacked atop my torso, where their compliments are allowed to drop past my hips below my core, my torso feels like one piece.
And I know what it is to not feel segmented.
I know what whole must feel like.
And I laugh like a fucking maniac.
I may actually do this.