Thursday, June 21, 2012

An Apology To The Intelligent Gang BANGers OR Comment Section Blues (Part II)

[It's been a tough stretch.  The spawn is in a half day summer camp, making me do the parent thing from noon to 7:00 this week, also meaning I have not swam or exercised in 6 days.  Aside from a momentary nuclear meltdown over my child opening the front door for a stranger (thank R'hllor the dog didn't attack the poor salesman), I've held up decently with the help of my good friend Mr. Codeine, though I really need time in the pool and less gravity pulling on my limbs.  When the meds wear off, I'm praying for the week to end.  Anyways, . . . , I got a few inquiries as to my absence of late from the Giants Extra comment section, so here is a polite version of a response.  The apparently impolite version, which was my last post in said comment section, did not get posted after it's submission a few weeks ago.]

I have issues.  This is no secret.

One issue that has plagued me for over a decade now is pretty simple.  I hate being misunderstood.  I become frustrated when my position is misinterpreted.

A more complicated version evolved from my realization that true communication is nearly impossible.  So many, too many, words mean different things to different people.  Even when they think they understand each other, they do not.  When the written word is used, such that voice inflection and facial expression are absent, this inability to communicate is greatly exacerbated.

Make no mistake.  I hold much blame myself, unable to craft my prose as I wish, especially when the pain is winning or, in the alternative, the pain killing drugs are winning, as they are now.  It is not as simple as arguing others fail to comprehend me.  I am often incomprehensible.  Yet, I do know the fault is often not totally my own.

I struggle greatly with this phenomenon.  It is a major block for me when I try to explain my condition.  For example, I often feel like a kinked Slinky (a metal one, not the plastic ones that no longer kink which they sell now).  You may be able to conceptualize what certain aspects of this feeling is like, but unless you become like me yourself, which I do not recommend at present, you will never understand, no matter how well I can describe the sensations.

It is very important to note that even the smartest of individuals will suffer from this inability to communicate truly with one another.  Yet, when stupidity, or ignorance, or a complete lack of imagination, or the inability to empathize at any level whatsoever enters the equation . . .

Or worse, when the individual one tries to communicate with is merely waiting for their turn to respond (or cleverly retort) rather than actually trying to understand the expressed opinion . . .

Well, that puts me over the edge.

And so, after I had included in one of my posts in the comment section of Giants Extra, a blog for the San Francisco Giants through the Bay Area News Group (BANG, hence this post's title), that one reason I express some of my ideas is that they may actually make a difference, I was replied to with a comment starting with the most miserable and unintelligent of phrases, "I'm not saying you are delusional, but that comment was delusional."

I had enough, on so many levels.  Never mind that the idiot failed to realize that, it being my honest opinion, my idea which I believed in, he was calling me delusional, something I have an entirely different set of issues with.  Never mind that the idiot lacked the intelligence to conceptualize the manner in which an idea can spread, read by one, mentioned to another, and so on, until it reaches an ear that may actually have a voice in the organization.  A good idea can travel.  Never mind that the idiot presumed, after years of interacting with me, that I must have believed Bruce Bochy read the comment section for my posts, which would be delusional.  The idiot didn't bother to think at all.

I was pointing at the moon.  The idiot thought I wanted him to look at my finger.

I became exasperated.  I ranted, then clicked submit.  Only days later did I see the post never got past moderation for some reason (perhaps the idiot DOES have connections, as I have theorized, the shill).

I miss good discussions on things Giant related, where the points are whittled down to as close to a meeting of the minds as two can reach, especially in the written medium.  Yet, I do not miss being misunderstood, especially when I would sometimes spend significant energy trying to phrase a comment properly to best express myself.  I really do not miss being disrespected through responses that did not even try to understand what I had written.  My brain has been much quieter since I stopped reading the comment section.

It is a personal fault that I cannot "let go" when my position gets misunderstood or mischaracterized, especially by those I respect and enjoy trying to interact with.  Because I cannot, just leaving has been the better solution.  I also don't get exposed to Sargento, which in and of itself should be enough for everyone to leave the blog.

I may well be back sooner or later, but I need a quiet mind for a while.  The body is screaming at me enough, lately.

On top of it all, I am beyond depressed.  Up 5-0 so early, and my wife wanting to record two shows, I missed Cain's perfect game.  It ripped a hole in my soul.  I had watched nearly every game he has pitched, or at least listened, even having a journal entry regarding his major league debut.  Now I don't even feel like a Giant fan.  I missed the rarest of events, by one of my favorite Giants ever.  At least my wife got her Next Top Cooking Show Chef Wannabe recorded [See, without voice inflection or the glazed look of abject disappointment that sits on my face like man who's dog just died, one might actually believe I find some consolation in my wife having recorded an imbicilic cooking show host competition.  When will there be a reality show host reality show competition?  I want royalties if that sentence leads to something.  I have to leave my daughter something.]

Anyways, to those I miss, to those that miss me (however hard that is for this friendless tool to actually imagine), I apologize for bailing in the manner I did.  I should have given word after learning my last post went unposted (or deleted?).  I'm not dead, though I may still wish it from time to time. 

Be well.  And if you really miss me that much, just write "fire Bochy" from me now and then.  I can't believe he and Bam Bam are actually getting credit for "turning Belt around."  Just unbelievable how stupid people to believe a Comcast aired classic Baer spun crock of crap like that.  Never mind the history.

I'm not going to post a link for this.  I figure those that get curious will find it sooner or later.

[Now, nearing 2:00 a.m., I have to go throw a rock at a bird that is driving me crazy, nightly.  I call it a "Car Alarm Bird" because it cycles through several different songs, just like an annoying car alarm.  The moonlight sets the damn thing off.  One of these nights, throwing a rock via echolocation into the tree behind my fence, I'm going to kill the damn thing, and not lose a bit of sleep over it.  In fact, I'll sleep better than I have in months, quite literally.]

4 comments:

  1. Wisdom, Come back to Giants Extra, you are missed.
    CU

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  2. Come back to the Giant Blog TWC :>)

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  3. Thanks guys (also to those from the other entry on comment sections - special shout out to Jstreet - the comment containing some info I choose not to publish).

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  4. Wisdom cow, I have been reading your posts over at Giants extra for over 3years (I have very seldom posted there) and I have always considered your opinion very close to my own. I regularly post on the giants message board on CBS sportsline as USCfan in OKC and have routinely called for the heads of Bochy and bambam. I really enjoyed your take on Giants issues and think you should go back as I know there are many others who miss you there as I do. Good luck with your health issues as even though I am a chiropractor I have some disc and numbness issues of my own and feel your pain. I also would like to welcome you to the CBS site as I could use a partner over there in regards to Bruce and bambam

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