Sunday, October 12, 2014

Ill Communication

I'm having some significant discomfort, the right shoulder and right hip somehow both buckled, and I am unable to free one without the other, neither ready to move the amount needed.

It hurts, but an amount I can handle.  The problem is that the sharp, unhandleable pains come the moment I take my mind off keeping them in a certain position in relation to each other.  If I allow one to move as muscle memory wants, the other screams, loudly.

Basically, I can do little tasks, like type a sentence, with focus, but I do not have much intellectual processing capabilities regarding thought.

So, here is the scene from an hour ago (make that 1.5 hours as this took a long time to type):

*     *     *     *      *

I'm standing in the sun and high winds outside trying to find a way to unfold myself, when the wife comes out to ask if I can watch the kid while she goes out for a massage.

"Yes," I tell her, but then I wanted to explain more.  I wanted to let her know the above section, that I am clear headed mentally (not blinded by pain as is sometimes the case) and can do all the little tasks which supervising a seven year old can entail.

But I couldn't form the thoughts to then speak them, not without needing to refocus on the body to avoid the sharp pains.

She stood waiting for me to continue.

After a minute of false starts, my thoughts reached the point of realizing that I was not so capable of communicating, but could still watch the kid.  So, I raised a finger and said, "let me try to explain one thing," as we entered the house.

Then I was stuck again.

As she waited.

And waited.

At which point I busted out laughing.

"THIS!"  I motioned all around.  "I can do stuff.  I just can't communicate well."

*     *     *     *     *

I have no idea if she understands what I meant.  She's out getting a massage.  The kid is napping.

I am now left wondering if she, too, saw the humor in me trying to articulate that I was having trouble articulating anything.  I found the moment funny.

She likely just wanted to get going and get a massage.  Lord only knows what she thinks of me at this point.

Anyways, this was a snapshot of a moment, comically similar to many of my struggles with expressing myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment