Same as it has been, my cycle continues. It gets really hard before a breakthrough, followed by a few good days, or a good day, or a good couple of hours anyways, then back to the struggle.
Each time, I have reason to think things are getting better, for the most part.
* * * * *
The summer has not been what I had hoped.
I was supposed to run and swim, and maybe lose some weight.
Instead, the setbacks seemed to stack up. Then, I'd have time with my daughter where I'd choose her over rehab (but it is not like other muscle systems didn't get work trying to keep up with her). Then, the puppy.
I'll go on record that it was either the wrong time for a puppy or the wrong puppy, one of the two, maybe both.
I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, nor was ready for the demands of puppy initiations. On top of it, I don't click with the dog. I can enjoy playing with her, but I think the mindset of the small dog is just non-compatible with me. I like a bigger dog.
Perhaps when she gets older, things will work better. For now, though, she's lucky she's cute.
* * * * *
The ear infections were relentless earlier this summer. I still believe the adjustments were the root cause. Swelling, so much swelling, the pain was overbearing at times.
Now, a new worry, I have a small lump under the armpit.
It HAS to be from all the hyperextensions and subluxations, right?
It is only a discomfort, though very sore initially. And only three days, yet I have not gone to the doctor. My personal physician in on vacation and I am not up for explaining everything to someone new. Dumb, I know. Dumb.
It can be so many things, so many that are not bad. Still, I fear.
* * * * *
I have to believe it is from last Tuesday. I spent six hours out with my daughter at the State Fair. It was a very good day.
She rode ride after ride. We did the Farris Wheel, the biggest one. I got to soak up so many smiles and squeals of happiness out of her.
Sure, I was a wreck afterwards, spending most of the last two days in bed, much of it worried over the suddenly swollen gland under my armpit.
But damn, it was a good day. I've had so few in so long. No way would I give it back. I have far too few of them with my daughter. Her mother does most, nearly all, outings with her.
Maybe it's not that dumb, giving it some more time before a doctor visit. The swelling has gone down, after all.
* * * * *
Still, this tale will either continue as normal, random updates that don't really do much more than get me typing, with the occasional rant or ramble into things I think about (I have a neat one I came up with the other night which I'll probably write about soon regarding the soul after death). OR, this could turn into something I had hoped it would not, a living obituary.
I long feared I would get to a position near normalcy, only to then end up fighting the ills people normally get to fight. If it were not for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, the saying goes.
But we shall see . . .
Maybe it's just another trough. Maybe I'm on the verge of another breakthrough. Maybe, just like the lymph node swelling near my ear, this one is because of the adjustments, as I theorize. I sure hope so.
Things have been hard. There is still a good 2-3 months of warm weather left. Maybe I'll get my chance to jog and swim with regularity yet. And lose some of this weight!