Belated Update

Okay, I am near constantly focused on keeping certain areas in place, making every other task in existence difficult.  So, that’s why the last big development was not updated before now, as the next one begins.  In case I am actually doing something good, I don’t want the last change forgotten.

The success in the right shoulder continues to snowball, as do subsequent changes to hips, chest, neck, jaw, face, and eyes.  It’s a bit overwhelming at times.

I apologize for not putting a link, but just typing is taking all effort and I do not want to stop.

Early on, I described a subjective feel of what I have been doing as being like a game where you move a metal ball UP two metal rods trying to reach the furthest point possible when it drops.  Looking back, my attention was focused on the distance moved, just like that game.

Last week, there was a change, something happening more and more often, though intermittent.  It feels like a different “game,” or toy, the one where you hold, again, two metal rods (actually one, bent at the handle, but two should be noted) and a wheel spins in between them, the wheel’s metal hub touching both rods, it travels down the rods, to a point where they hook back toward the holder, then to an end point, where the wheel reverses field and travels back.  Hopefully, I can link to it later.  Most know the toy I am writing about.

So, the primary different is the reaching of a possible endpoint and returning, almost-controlled.

I think this is a big deal, lol.  At least, I hope so.

* * * * * * * * *

That noted, the new one, just happening, is still too new to describe, but I am really getting muscle maneuvered up into the right shoulder like never before, up the back of the shoulder, then releasing muscle towards the pectorals, maybe, lol.

Subsequent changes in the hip are beginning too.

Okay, it’s early, and I am writing before prepping to swim.  When I can better articulate the new stuff, or whatever happens next, I shall.

I am excited, but I have been excited before.

I Hate Wait - A Realization Why

Much happening, but existence remains difficult, and I doubt I will write much, but this may have been a big realization.

First, I’ve known (and written) for years now that I have never really been able to relax.  The knot or whatever the fuck it is caused by my childhood injury is near always clenched or causing muscles adjacent to it to clench.  This is why I love high heat days and hate cold.  

Okay, well, I have realized that while I consciously know what relax, slow down, patience all mean, what my body actually does is clench other muscles to fight the clenched ones.  I counter the forces rather than change.  For me, slowing down and/or waiting is literally using more energy and creating more tension in my body.  It is the opposite of relaxing.

I guess “slowing down” is the easiest example.  Sure, when I want to slow down while swimming, my movement speed slows down, but it’s because I am holding myself back, doing even more work, so to speak.

As of now, I don’t see any paths to help correct this beyond my continued efforts to undo the “knot” from my childhood.  I hope the realization can worm it’s way into meditation techniques while swimming to try to actually calm down, slow down.  

Perhaps the realization is tied to the “adjustments” that have happened this winter, perhaps alleviating some of the “knot.”  That change in the knot could have been the source of the new thought, spawned by the new (to me) perception of a muscle group actually having a moment of relaxation.

I am really ready for warmer weather.

This said, the other news is that I have gotten under 200 pounds.  Yay me.  I am still at a point where I straddle the number daily, but I am excited at the prospect of starting the next stint of warm weather at or under 200, with the opportunity to get down under 190 or even 180.  

I am hopeful things may snowball a bit when the weather warms.  :)

Woohoo!

I am sore as hell at present, but this morning, 2:40 minutes into my swim, I freed my right shoulder, a section of it, anyways.  A huge chunk of pain, a slab of frozen shoulder, blocking full range of motion for freestyle arms is gone.

I’d love to write more, but I am spent.

Swimming in Bong Water

Much has happened.  Many adjustments, and I sometimes find myself shocked just how much parts shift.

But this is just a trivial post . . . 

I managed to get a bad ear infection coinciding with the Camp Fire.  I missed one swim day from the ear, though the air was so bad I may not have gone anyways, and then the pool closed from bad air quality in the Valley for a week.

This morning, the air was still pretty horrible, but rain was coming, and began falling an hour before I left to swim.  An hour into the swim, it was pretty clear the rain was cleaning the air, but also covering the pool with little drops of bong water, basically.  You could smell it.  Ugh.

I’ve lasted into much colder weather than years past.  No idea how much longer I will last, but I’m going push on as long as I can.

The Monkey King and Standing, Two Ways

Much and more has happened, too much to express, but what a ride...

The Monkey King

So, in the middle of one of those monster weekend swims just two days ago, I mentally pictured a monkey swimming.  If you have never seen it, do so.  It’s pretty damn cute.

At first, my focus was on the legs, and the manner they push/kick, but then I thought about the tail.  I began a meditation focus of giving myself a tail, the balance and usage in the water.  It caused changes, quickly.

It relaxed, maybe dragged, my lower back, as if letting the tail take some water drag.  This altered my hip angle, lessening drag and raising my hips / lower torso in the water, dramatically lessening overall drag.  In turn, muscles were able to adjust further up my back.  It even reached my armpits, finding a new kink point, one too hard to explain, but wow, oh wow.  It feels like a reversal point for the arms to connect to the torso properly (we’ll see).

Standing, Two ways

As the monkey tail practice continued, I soon found the ability to alter my breaststroke kick in a significant way, though this has been hard to repeat without much time and effort.  Imagine that when the legs come up, the monkey’s tail likewise does, only behind you, almost arching the lower back.  Then, when kicking, both converge in something similar to say a three armed octopus (tripus? 🙂).  Both sides converging was a totally new sensation, as if discovering Yin and Yang.

Now, even out of the water, I can sometimes find this convergence just standing.  It’s worth noting, just like the monkey swimming, it also sends focus/force up the torso!  

As far as changes go, it’s like I am in a crescendo.  Obviously, I have felt like I am nearing a breakthrough so many times before.  I am not letting myself get too excited, but damn if I am not a bit excited.

I can’t wait to get back in the pool.

Monster Weekends

Last weekend and today, I did 3.25-3.5 hour swims, trying to make up for the 3 weekday swims that are limited to 2 hours.  There is something about not paying attention at all to time that helps me find adjustments during the swim.  Today, I had great success.  I have never been more certain that I am doing something right with all this.  That said, I am also quite confident it’s going to get cold on me and stop/retard my progress too soon, before I get some stuff “reversed.”

Exhausted.  Time to waste away in front of college football.

Go Bears!

Setbacks Galore

The pool broke and I followed.

The circulation pump broke, the first weekday of non-summer.  Coincidence?  No, no, I won’t suspect anything without more, but ouch.

It’s day 5 of no pool now, they await a part for repairs, with no announcement of when they expect it fixed.

I hurt on Monday.  I hurt on Tuesday.  Then, things started cramping and contorting and I lost all memory of my center, well, the approximate one I had been striving for.  I am miserable.  I have tried some short 2 mile walks.  They did not go well.  It’s mentally difficult to remain focused on form so intently when the world bombards with stimuli, not to mention requires monitoring for safety purposes.  Add the solitude of a swim lane to the list of reasons rehab in the pool is so much easier.

I imagine I must keep walking, and maybe try it more come winter, but those are plans to dwell on later.

Pain has led to binging on food for distraction, and that pipe dream weight goal is probably well out of reach by now.  Damn.  Damn.  Damn.  I really was beginning to think I had a chance of getting under 200 before winter.

Maybe next year...

Presuming the pool is fixed by then...

Oh, but there will be rec swimmers and lessons again, so it will be a priority and be maintained, unlike now.  Sigh.